thanks for staying with me people! believe it or not i'm blogging as often as i'm able at this time...
i'd like to thank scott k. for his weigh-in on this subject matter (June 6 entry). in particular, i'll focus on his comment in regard to detachment/achieving the "it" factor... 'i think it has not much to do with drums at all'. this reminds me of some 'perspective' ideas i share with my students that i'd like to offer here.
the first time i was invited to play at a drum festival was the Montreal Drum Festival. i got the date a few months in advance and i knew there were some heavies on the bill - Cobham, Weckl, Steve Smith, Terri Lynn Carrington etc. - and i quickly settled into fear-mode. in other words major attachment to results.
i think this was the first "major" event in my drumming career where i was able to successfully apply 'perspective disciplines'. Basically, along with (and during) meditation i started talking to myself a lot : )
here are some of the things i said (and journaled) on a reg. basis:
'in the grand scheme it doesn't matter what happens in Montreal, my girlfriend (now wife) will still love me. my parents, brothers, nephews, friends will still love me - and i'll still love them.'
it's sad to say but not everyone has love - or enough of it - in their life. sad because while our creativity can sustain us say, all night in the studio when we have to, say, get up with our son Early in the morning, my guess is love is doing more for the sustenance of our species than music. whatever the case, i'm grateful that i have an abundance of love in my life, and practicing knowing that it wouldn't go away if i sucked (or thought i sucked) was helpful in my pursuit of detachment.
and speaking of creativity and music...
'in the grand scheme it doesn't really matter what happens in Montreal because i'll still have my creativity, curiosity, and ability to flesh it out through music'
my creativity really is a gift i'm grateful for and, again, practicing knowing that it wouldn't go away if i sucked was helpful in detaching from the need to do a great job at the festival.
mind you, i definitely spent a lot of time shedding for this particular gig, but i'd say i spent as much time shedding detachment - and that work is what makes the difference. your body can be ready to go, well trained, prepared etc., but if your ego can't let go of wanting to do well (it can't) and you can't let go of your ego,,, you can't get to the promised land. can't get to the "it" land.
i now believe that if you're doing music for the right reasons, and you stay in it long enough, no one gig is gonna make or break your career. i tell my students to think of a gig, or even a recording, as a snapshot in their life. some pictures you like the way you look, some you don't. but there'll be more pictures.
i've got a couple more thoughts on this 'it has little to do with drumming' concept, but i must get horizontal. thanks for reading. let me know what You think about this stuff... and thanks again to scott k for weaving this thread into the discussion...